Imagine you are attending a corporate training/coaching session and the session begins with a meditation, and centering, and then stating intentions. Sounds odd, yes? Take it further, and imagine the room is full of accountants, or engineers, or physicians, or attorneys. Sounds really strange, right?

This is what is going on in companies all across the United States. An approach blending pragmatic coach training along with tapping into spirituality is being accepted, and in fact, embraced and adapted as a business practice. Company cultures are shifting and changing to accept spirituality in the workplace.

We have finally realized, after years of pretending the personal aspects of who we are don’t come to the workplace, that we can’t leave ourselves behind. As companies have learned, our lives outside of work come to work with us, because we are comprehensive human beings. When a company acknowledges and honors that the person we are is the person invited and accepted into the workplace, a more productive and happier worker shows up.

The pragmatic/spiritual approach gives employees solid, concrete learning to be better coaches and to use coaching tools to lead people. It also shows employees how to tap into their own intuition and to identify their own beliefs. Often the self-talk or the inner story, which plays over and over again, is what is in the way of the employee being successful and feeling happy at work. This blended approach teaches concepts like:

• using the law of attraction – bringing to you what you want, instead of struggling and pushing to get what you want and using a command/control model
• being a deliberate creator who manifests the things you want without effort
• allowing feelings to be fully felt and expressed in the workplace
• slowing down to stop and breathe
• taking time for appreciation
• encouraging conversations about what is going right and what is working and celebrating successes
• acknowledging each other
• bringing beauty into the workplace
• checking in to see how ideas and thoughts feel in your body and trusting your gut using all of your senses
• not being attached to outcomes, and trusting more
• holding the belief that all is well
• allowing things to unfold instead of forcing them to happen
• being still and quiet and really listening to yourself and others

To some, it still sounds a bit “out-there” to bring spirit into the workplace, so I encourage companies to start slow with some pragmatic, traditional coaching and then introduce some less traditional concepts. It becomes apparent that they go together. You don’t just put them both in the blender and mix them up and hope for the best. The system of blended coaching produces a wonderful “smoothie” that tastes great and people crave.

Companies that are already using these techniques are reaping the benefits of a happier, more productive workforce. Skeptical managements no longer care how it works, they only care that it works, and that, for them, is the bottom line.

How many times over the course of a 2-3 year period, does a company spend time, energy, and resources creating or re-creating a vision or mission? Most companies do this activity over and over again because the CEO can’t move the organization to get behind the vision. The employees don’t have a desire to achieve the vision, and it is meaningless to them.

The VM Vacuum process (Vision-Mission Vacuum) that has been brought into organizations is making a dramatic difference. It works like a vacuum, where it sweeps the entire organization and attracts energy to itself. The process produces employees who are committed to the CEO’s vision and instills passion and the desire to achieve the vision and mission of the company.

The VM Vacuum process works because all the employees are involved in co-creating the vision and are all a key and equal part of the visioning process. When a vision is co-created in this way, it becomes co-shared and people believe in it… it contains a part of them, so naturally, it becomes believable, realistic and do-able.

Here is the structure of the process:

• Every employee, regardless of job type, hours worked, or job title, is invited to participate in a visioning meeting with key managers.
• Key managers act as facilitators with no vision/mission to sell anyone, but simply to gather people and listen to their thoughts.
• Facilitated discussions are held to invite every employee to respond to questions about what currently is going well or right in the company, why those things are working, and then daydream a description of how things could be perfect. Once there is a clear idea of “perfect”, the facilitator asks the group to pretend it is five years from now, three years from now, and one year from now, and to describe a perfect work day in each year – complete with how it feels, sounds, looks, tastes, smells, etc. Then the group identifies the things right now that aren’t quite right yet within the organization and identifies resources (like time, money, training, space, etc) that could make things more right.
• All facilitated discussions result in a detailed summary of the conversations above.
• Key managers bring their facilitated discussion results to the CEO, and the CEO, with no vision/mission to sell, facilitates the exact same process with the managers as was conducted with the employees.
• All facilitated discussions, including the ones with the managers, are now transcribed and put into one working document.
• Groups of employees and managers take the document and find areas of similarity and create one large document.
• That document becomes the vision/mission of the organization.

Organizations that follow these steps and do each thoroughly, believing each employee has value to contribute to this process, now have a vision/mission that the employees helped to formulate, and therefore feel a part of. When employees feel their viewpoints were both heard and considered and that these are now a piece of the company, their morale goes up, they become more productive, and they tend to stay much longer in their employment. What they do, how they do it, and why they do it is now meaningful for them. After all, they helped develop the what, how, and why. It gives them pride and a true sense of belonging and value within the organization.

Considering the benefits to everyone, isn’t this process one that is worth the time?

Organizations are finally creating cultures that support a work and life balance for their employees. After years of demanding high productivity and increasing on the job hours and expectations and not achieving the hoped-for better results, companies are finally embracing polices and procedures that support employees in integrating their life and work experience. The results are bringing higher productivity, better employee overall job performance, and fewer employee absences, resulting in greater profitability.

When companies first consider such programs, their biggest concern is how programs supporting life and work balance will help their bottom line vs. simply costing more money that they don’t want to spend. As more companies develop creative methods for integration of life and work, they see that the bottom line can’t be impacted upon positively without recognizing employees’ needs for balance. Employees are, after all, only human.

At first, companies we’ve presented these concepts to have resisted and felt that it was all simply added expense for them. In addition, they’ve seen the need for balance as an “employee” issue and not a company issue. In my experience coaching and consulting with companies around the world, I think that avoiding responsibility for integration of life and work is what is actually COSTING companies money, and if they’d invest some money in programs that support balance, they’d increase their bottom line through improved morale and productivity.

Here are the reasons that organizations are adopting life/work balance policies:

Employee hiring and retention: it is more difficult to recruit and replace employees if there isn’t a balance in their job, as they leave faster when they feel imbalance and the cost of constant retraining is money that could be better spent elsewhere.
• Absenteeism decrease: when there is flextime, flexible schedules, childcare, etc. offered, it is well documented that absenteeism and tardiness go way down.
• Stress is decreased: on the job tension often comes from the feeling of being out of balance, and stress creates illness, poor morale, and low productivity. People are not robots that can be switched on and off at will. All work and no play certainly does make Jack a dull boy, and companies now realize this.
• Attitude and morale: employees who have a integration in life/work show higher job satisfaction, greater productivity, feel more loyalty, and file fewer law suits.

Organizations will be successful when they realize that without high quality workers who are loyal and who feel integration between family and work, they won’t have a dedicated workforce, and they will actually lose money. People are worth keeping and developing and are the most valuable asset that any company has, and yet it is the one asset that is generally overlooked.

People make a business… not machines, not books of accounts. In our world, nothing is free and people do have to earn a living, but they do also have to live a meaningful and productive life. When there is a fair balance between the two, this results in a happy and constructive human being who is able to give 100% because one aspect of their life is not demanding more than the other and there is no unhealthy imbalance. Companies who acknowledge this and incorporate strategies to allow for this, reap the rewards described above. Result? Everyone gets what they want and need. Everyone is happy.

Picture yourself entering a corporate meeting, team meeting, or business meeting. There you are sitting in the room, while someone in the “expert” or “boss” chair speaks to you or at you. There you are, not aligned with that person’s mission or vision. There you are, feeling apart from the process. There you are, lacking energy and the desire for being there. There you are, hearing what is going wrong and what you or your team or department needs to change or improve. How are you feeling?

Are you feeling a great connection to the meeting? Are you feeling enthusiastic about being in attendance at the meeting? Are you fully present at the meeting? Are you deeply tuned in and listening with your heart and your head? Are you inspired to co-create, participate, and contribute? Or, are you ready to fall asleep, or count the minutes of what you feel is wasted time?

My experience in my two plus decades of being in business and in coaching business clients around the world is that the system of meetings, clearly, must change. Most meetings don’t include participant involvement and actually serve to tune people out rather than tune them in, and as a result, the intention of the meeting falls short of its purpose. In other words, they really can be a waste of precious company time.

The process of Meeting Alignment, that we’ve been teaching companies around the world, has allowed them to use a systematic process that engages people in meetings and creates a desire for them to contribute and fully participate in these business meetings.

The Meeting Alignment Process and the results it creates include:

• A desire to co-create: The purpose of a meeting isn’t to get across “your” agenda; it shifts to sharing your thoughts and hearing fully the thoughts and ideas of others to co-create the meeting purpose and actions.
• Deep tuning in: Most meetings involve people talking and listening to themselves. The Meeting Alignment Process teaches people to fully listen with their hearts and to listen beyond the words to what is not said, to emotions, and to fully hear others.
• The Meeting Alignment Process teaches techniques of being non-judgmental, so that people can fully hear and support each other and let new ideas IN vs. rule out and defend against why things won’t work. It produces a safe environment in which people feel encouraged to participate.
• Non-attachment: Many people think meetings are about a specific outcome occurring – the meeting holder’s outcome… that’s a surefire way to alienate people and result in them NOT wanting to support you. The Meeting Alignment Process allows for each person to give up “their” outcome and allows the meeting and solutions to unfold for the good of the entire group.
• What’s wrong: Most meetings focus on problems, fixing problems, or informing people of change. The meeting needs to come from a place of asking what IS working and involve what IS the right type questions. These questions form the basis of creating a positive energy flow and opening up creativity. It’s the basic principle of encouraging a sense of positivity rather than negativity.
• Framework of questions: Questions in this process focus on what is working, why it works, what would be the perfect ideal vision, and what isn’t quite right yet, and then, coming up with resources and inspired actions to create the outcome of the meeting.
• Feel good! When people attend a meeting where EVERY idea is praised and contributions rewarded and people thanked and really appreciated for their contributions, this raises self-esteem, confidence, and morale. People want to participate in meetings that make them feel good, not only about the company they work for, but about themselves and their role in it.

This process is effective in all companies and will work with all size groups. It requires a shift in the employer and leaders’ thinking, from managing and bossing and telling to coaching and co-creating and sharing. The effect is profound. People treated with value and respect, rise up to challenges. They are more excited to solve problems, participate in the mission and vision of the company, and create more productivity. They feel that the company’s success is their success. It motivates them to greater achievement.

Companies following a systematic process of creating a Meeting Alignment Process, take morale out of the toilet bowl fast. Their employees are happier, their retention rates rise, and the corporate culture shifts to one of enthusiasm.

A beneficial win-win situation is created and everybody gets to bask in success.

Despite the growing trend for companies to turnover their staff frequently, or fire them and use consultants on an “as needed” basis, there is still a requirement for firms to keep their best performers for the permanent positions needed in the organization. With more and more people taking to working for themselves, or moving around experimenting with careers and employers, the task of keeping good staff becomes more challenging.

Employee turnover can cost organizations thousands of dollars when you consider lost production time, re-training, etc. One of the key ways to keep good staff is to instill in them a sense of loyalty and commitment. Here are some ideas to achieve this:

• Start With the Basics.
  When a new employee starts, assign a buddy to them. Make sure they understand how the company works, its policies and procedures. Give them a thorough orientation. Help them to fit in easily and quickly.
• Plan Together.
  If this is an employee you want to keep, make sure you discuss with them a plan for their career development. Ensure they know you are willing to invest time and money in them to achieve mutual goals if they are interested to stick around and learn.
• Be Flexible.
  Be flexible with work arrangements. The old 9 to 5 routine is going the way of the dinosaur. Allow for flexi-time. Consider allowing them to work an extra hour a day to build up time for a day off every couple of weeks. If the type of work they are doing permits, consider allowing them one or two days a week when they can “work from home”.
• Don’t be Greedy.
  Be realistic with overtime expectations. People are entitled to a life, and if you look after them holistically, they will reward you with the loyalty you seek. Understand their family commitments. Flexible work schedules are a blessing to working family partners, as are day-care crèches etc. You are not hiring a single automaton, you are hiring a human being with a life and a family, and it has to blend successfully if it is to be lasting and rewarding.
• Forget the “Use By” Date.
  Don’t forget your retired staff. Many retirees soon find a life of retirement somewhat boring and will jump at the chance to work part time, or mentor new personnel (a win-win situation).
• Reassure their Security.
  If you want to keep staff, you have to prove that their career is not at risk by staying with you, and that you have what it takes to be a modern employer. Nobody is going to leave a company that pays well, understands their needs as a human being, and offers job security together with a career plan for advancement.
• Don’t Forget the Rewards.
  Brainstorm and ask staff for their ideas on reward/bonus systems. Rewards need not entail cash bonuses, but may include benefits such as child crèches, flexible hours, time off, payment of Association fees, etc.
• Show Interest.
  Show an active interest in your staff’s welfare and enjoyment in their employment – don’t wait until the once a year interview. You could try offering a company Social Club, or staff picnics, or a newsletter primarily for and about the staff rather than a strictly business newsletter. Do any of your staff do things like volunteer work, or work with Boy scouts, just for examples, because if they do, some recognition and perhaps some kind of donation or sponsorship towards their activity, sporting group, etc. would go a long way to ensure their loyalty and appreciation.
• Keep an Ear to the Ground.
  Don’t wait until disgruntled staff come to you – by then, much damage has already been done. Whether the problem is at an individual level, or involves an entire department, or an individual Manager, act quickly and be seen to be taking steps to rectify any problem areas. Consult with all levels of staff. Encourage your management to take weekly walks around departments, letting their presence be known, asking friendly questions, showing concern, and taking steps to rectify problems.
• Never Mislead.
  Finally, if the job opening you are offering is potentially a short-term arrangement, or likely to change or disappear in the future, be open and honest about it up front. Never mislead employees. In a nutshell, the key to remember is that many employees think of their company (employer) as an extension of their family. Treat them as you would a valued family member and you will have lifelong loyalty. Treat them as a ‘number’, a disposable commodity, and you will have nothing.

All is not well in the corporate world. Contrary to some opinions, people do not just job-hop for the fun of it or because they are irresponsible. Stress is up and morale is down.

If you follow the trail backwards, it often leads right to Management’s door. Here are some common mistakes made by management and alternative courses of action they could be taking.

1. Management bases their solutions to problems on educated guesses or assumptions that can make matters worse rather than better. They share mistaken beliefs that because they are in a position of management, they know ‘better’.

   Action: Management should have proper information systems in place that will tell them exactly where the problems are. The staff involved should be included in brainstorming sessions when searching for solutions. The frontline troops know more about what is going on, what works and what doesn’t work at this level than management does, sitting as they often are in relative isolation.

2. Managers dump unrealistic workloads on their workers and hand over tasks that people are not equipped to handle. They hand over the work without empowering the employee to “handle” it, and then blame the employee when it doesn’t work out.

   Action: Managers need to learn to delegate properly. The reason for delegating work is to lighten the Manager’s workload and also to educate/train those under him to help them grow. Work delegated should always be appropriate to the ability of the employee to whom it is given. If the manager has authority to do X with a project, if that project is delegated, the person receiving it must also have the authority to do X in order to accomplish the task. The employee must be given the training and tools in order to do any job properly.

3. Management is not clear with instructions. People are doing work for which they have no idea of its importance or relevance and even where it fits into the larger picture. As a result, tasks are tackled blindly with hit and miss results, delays, and extra stress.

   Action: Managers need to ensure employees understand not only what they are doing but why they are doing it. This enables employees to also find better and more efficient ways of achieving goals. Managers need to work with their people, helping them to set realistic goals and measure the progress made towards accomplishment.

4. Managers can be highly critical, quick to spot flaws and point them out, and seem to focus on what is not working. This makes people feel worthless, that nothing they do is right, that they can never please their Boss, and hence, their morale suffers as does their productivity.

   Action: Managers should focus on what is working and build from there. As for what is not working, they should not assume that only they hold the answers. Brainstorming with all involved in a task or project shows respect to employees, who very often have a better grip on the situation than the Manager and can produce innovative ideas and solutions. Managers also need to support their staff, with praise and words of encouragement. Accomplishment should be rewarded.

5. Bad Managers do not trust their employees, they may show no respect, and may seem to thrive in their perceived power role. They can be rude to employees, showing disregard for their feelings and the only feedback given is negative. They are intimidating and arrogant. They have never heard of work/life balance. They give too many difficult tasks to people either not suited to or not trained for it and set unrealistic deadlines.

   Action: Bad Managers can be trained out of their bad habits and it is up to senior management to train their managers accordingly. Management meetings should be held to address these issues – with no blame apportioned – just encouragement to adopt healthier methods of interacting with staff and achieving departmental goals. In fact, managers need to be trained not to manage people, but rather, to coach them to be their best.

6. The Manager has no idea what he is doing. He may have transferred from a different department/industry and be out of his depth in his new role. Whenever employees ask for advice, he may fob them off with excuses or tell them to sort it out themselves, which is not quite the empowerment they are looking for. Empowerment without guidelines and guidance is foolish.

   Action: A Manager should be familiar with all the roles in his department and be able to step in to help any employee at any time. If saving face is important, a manager can always approach this learning phase by telling each employee that he wants a more thorough understanding of their job in order to be more helpful and be able to discuss their role more knowledgeably. The employee will appreciate this interest and should be encouraged to take the opportunity to suggest alternative ways of doing things. A healthy rapport and mutual trust can be established in this way between employees and a new Manager.

7. Some managers are dictators and look over their employee’s shoulders every step of the way. Of course, this Manager thinks he can do it better and that his way is the only right way to do it. He refuses to listen to other ideas and suggestions.

   Action: Managers need to delegate the task then step back and allow the employee to do it. It doesn’t matter how it is done, just as long as it gets done on time and with the preferred result. Managers do need to be available and ready if the employee needs guidance or assistance, otherwise, they should stay out of their way and let them get on with what they’ve been asked to do. Regular meetings can be held to discuss the progress of projects, or weekly reports can be handed in to the manager so he knows the status. Managers need to ask their employees for their ideas and suggestions and find ways to incorporate good ideas, and then, give credit where credit is due.

8. Modern day managers have even less of a clue how to manage today’s workforce than they did in the past. The younger workers have totally different work ethics and belief systems than their parents. Managing today’s younger workforce with traditional management methods does not work. They will not be “managed”. They do, however, respond favorably to coaching and mentoring – which is the new way to ‘manage’ the workforce.

   Action: Management can hire an outside Professional Coach or send their Managers and Executives to learn Coaching skills which they can bring back into their role. Managers become “Coaches” and “Mentors” themselves, allowing employees to manage themselves effectively.

9. An insecure or immature Manager can sabotage the career paths of those he perceives as a threat to his position or who make him feel inadequate. Instead of utilizing the brilliant minds in his department effectively, he creates an environment in which he establishes himself as the supreme authority. He may belittle others in an effort to make himself look smarter. The department does not function as well as it could because talents are not being utilized. The Manager lets his ego get in the way.

   Action: Managers need to accept that it is impossible to know everything there is to know and that there will always be those more and less smart than themselves, and not take a particularly intelligent employee’s ability as a personal affront to their own position. Their workers, their peers, and senior management generally hold managers who help their workers with their own personal career goals in high esteem. Furthermore, the person thus promoted will remember who helped him get there… and it always pays to have friends in high places! Rather than be jealous or feel ‘less’ because a subordinate has been promoted to a higher position, a Manager should take pride in knowing that his employee got ‘there’ with his help!

10. Managers who are too “full of themselves”, impressed by their own level of authority, and on an “ego trip” expect to be put on a pedestal and worshipped and become resentful when their employees fail to react accordingly. Communication breaks down as does respect and the department becomes dysfunctional.

    Action: Managers need to remember that their main role is to oversee the smooth running of a department that achieves its goals, and that the main difference between themselves and their staff is their level of responsibility, accountability, and one hopes, their level of experience and expertise.

In a nutshell, the most successful companies are those who train their managers to become leaders who don’t “manage” their staff, but coach and mentor them to success.

As “leader coaches”, the new style “Manager” has a deep understanding of the following principles, and these replace the old style methods of management:

• Connecting — developing a rapport with and compassion for employees, allowing them to feel safe. It promotes trust and respect.
• Hearing without Reacting — listening to employees without responding judgmentally – there is no right or wrong, good or bad. The employee simply “is” and their actions simply “are”. It is neutral listening.
• Reflecting Back — an old and time-honored communication skill that allows a listener to tell the speaker what they heard the speaker say. This gives the speaker the opportunity to confirm that is what they meant, or correct any misunderstanding.
• Responding — this involves understanding what an employee has said and meant, and replying in a way that relates to the employee so they are reassured they have been heard and correctly understood.
• Powerful Questions, Observations and Requests — This technique aims at helping the employee to find their truth, and assists them to step out of the reaction syndrome and look at their work from an outside perspective.
• Building the Employee — This assists employees to discover and ‘grow’ the very best of themselves. Many employees engage in defeating self-talk, suffer self doubts and have a small view of themselves. The Leader-Coach (Manager) helps each employee recognize the greatness in themselves. (Note: this is not using false flattery.)
• Growing the Employee — The Leader-Coach helps employees to create the structure wherein they have healthy self-confidence and can do more or contest their own beliefs and assumptions. It is the coaching skill of sensing what the employee is capable of doing or thinking and asking for it.
• Achieving Employee Goals — the practical steps employees need to take to go from where they are to where they want to be – it is about helping employees plan and do.

In short, managers have to stop managing and start coaching.

But people love being coached. It’s respectful and considerate of their needs. it helps them focus on what is right for them. In fact, it’s all about them – the client. It doesn’t matter to you if you make a sale or not, and they appreciate that… in fact, they just may buy something from you after all… you’re so ‘nice’ and honest!

The days of the old-fashioned salesman/woman have long gone. For many in the sales profession, they know what not to do, but they aren’t quite sure about what they should be doing. And the answer is quite simple… learn and apply coaching skills to your selling situations.

H.R. professionals and Managers are embracing coaching skills now because they realize this is the best way to deal effectively and successfully with all types of people. It entails a special honesty and openness that up until very recent times, was not a reputation the sales profession enjoyed. One of the wonderful things about coaching is that it can be applied to anybody in any situation with remarkable results. The reason it works is quite simple. People like to feel respected and honored as intelligent and worthwhile beings. They like to be listened to and understood. They like others to be honest with them and not manipulate them. When you make somebody feel this way, it is very interesting to see how cooperative they become.

As a Sales “coach”, instead of worrying about closing the sale, you can relax and coach people into a sale. Instead of struggling with resistant prospects, you can coach them into doing the right thing for you and for them. Once you cease to be pushy, people cease to resist. When coaching a client, rather than selling to them, you listen to what they have to say, and by listening very closely to everything they say rather than thinking about what you will say next, you can learn if they are likely to be a fit for whatever you are selling and how best your product or service may serve them. You will learn what their objections are and whether they are reasonable or something that can be overcome. This process is a gentle, friendly and polite way to do business and it is one to which more people respond favorably.

In essence, people come to see you more as a trustworthy advisor rather than somebody with ulterior motives and your eye on their wallet. Leave your sales pitch in your briefcase… when coaching your customer you start with questions, and then listen very carefully to the answers. Don’t speak to them like you would to a ten year old or somebody whose mother language is anything but English. Speak to them as you would to friends. You don’t push it if your customer seems anxious to get away. Maybe they are busy and your timing is bad.

When you have listened and learned about your prospective customer’s needs and situation, you are in a position to know whether what you can offer will be of real benefit to them. Don’t try and recite the sales brochure, just select a few things about what you can offer that apply to their situation. If you were listening closely to them, this part will be easy. Then invite them to take the next step, and don’t get anxious at the last minute and resort to hard sales techniques from yester-year in an attempt to close the sale. Leave the ball in the customer’s court. Establish your integrity and sincerity first. You have to “sell” the person on YOU first, before you can sell them on your product or service. And it’s important to note that people can spot a phony a mile a way. It’s better to leave your card, a brochure and other pertinent details with them and invite them to call you at any time, no obligation, if they’d like further information, than undo all your efforts by trying to close the sale with the old traditional methods and risk losing them even as a future customer.

A not so obvious benefit of this approach is even if this customer isn’t interested, they may know somebody else who would be. Word of mouth referrals are powerful. Never forget that every prospective customer to whom you speak may be able to bring more business your way. What would you like them to say to their friends about you and your product?

So don’t think of yourself as a salesperson in the future… think of yourself as a friendly and trusted advisor, who just so happens to have a particular brand or service he recommends. Never run down your competition. In fact, if you believe your client would be best served by another company’s product, you can earn valuable points by telling them about it.

It sounds easy, but when it comes to putting it into practice, these skills do not necessarily come naturally to everybody. But there is no need to despair. There are some excellent training programs around – there are some duds too. It pays to do your research when looking for training. Or if time and money is an issue, you can invest in a home-study coaching kit and learn these skills in your own time. Click here to view information on one of these kits.

It doesn’t really matter which method you choose to upgrade your skills, just as long as you do upgrade. “Selling” is so “yesterday” and your customers are much more wiser and savvy than they used to be

Be the change you want to see occur in the world around you. We can’t make other people be more considerate, helpful, honest, etc., but if everyone were to work on themselves and develop these attributes, our world would be a better place.

• Don’t be judgmental. Look for and recognize the good in yourself and in others. We are all capable of so-called “good” and “bad” behaviors and we all have our “good” and “off” days. We are all unique and it is wonderful that we are different and not all the same – in our appearance, our thoughts, our opinions, our likes and dislikes. Being different is not threatening, it is not “bad”, it is just “different”. Embrace the differences and be happy for the variety. Likewise, forget the concepts of “right” and “wrong”. People are not good or bad or right or wrong; they just are. If you were in “their shoes” maybe you would act differently, or maybe not. Being judgmental wastes time and cuts you off from opportunities and meaningful relationships – because you are not perfect either, and your judgment might be worse than the person’s you are judging!
• Respect. Don’t make the mistake of thinking your rights are the only ones that count. Don’t ignore the other person’s rights. Our fundamental right is to be respected. Being wealthy does not make a person more deserving of respect and neither does a high-flying career with a fancy title. Respect is not about material issues or where one sits on the social ladder. Respect is acknowledging another human being’s dignity and treating them how you wish to be treated yourself. We all came on to this earth equal and we’re all checking out as equals. What happens in between is just a series of different life experiences. The poor man who lives in a slum, who cares for strangers, volunteers assistance without expecting anything in return and lives a clean, honest life is more deserving of respect than a wealthy businessman who dresses in fine clothes, lives in a huge mansion, and treats everyone like pond amoeba, cheats on his wife, swindles his shareholders and has forgotten how to tell the truth.
• Be a Good Listener. How often do you really listen to other people? How often do you plan what you are going to say next while they are talking, or allow your mind to drift off onto something else instead of concentrating on their every word? It takes practice to be a good listener, but in being one, you are showing respect and in a position to better comprehend the real message being given to you. You avoid misunderstandings and missed instructions. Furthermore, the other person will appreciate your attention and return the courtesy.
• Be interested – not interesting. This goes hand in hand with being a good listener. People love to talk about themselves and will delight in the opportunity to do so, so ensure you ask questions and take an interest in what they are telling you. Don’t worry about them hogging the limelight – you can have your turn during the conversation. Have you ever met someone who only talks about themselves? Count the number of times you use “I” in your conversations. Judging, arguing points, interrupting the conversation, and using “I” a lot are sure signs you need to review your communication skills.
• Respond from Your Heart. We tend to respond to others using our head, not our heart. We formulate stories about us, we defend our ego, or we judge other people or what they have said. If we respond from our heart, we can respond with understanding and a sense of connection. Find something good to say about people and to people. Build people “up” – don’t knock them down. Go with your gut instincts.
• Be truthful. There is a good reason for the saying “honesty is the best policy.” Nothing good ever comes from lies, and there is a difference between being diplomatic and telling an outright lie. Nobody trusts a liar. If you’ve made a mistake, well, welcome to the human race! You don’t have to lie to cover it up. You don’t have to tell your truth “brutally”, there are gentle and tactful ways of delivering truths and you should think carefully before you speak. But don’t try to be deceitful because it has a habit of coming back to haunt you, and in those situations you are worse off than if you had just come clean in the first place, as uncomfortable as that may seem at the time.
• Be helpful. When you need a helping hand, don’t you just love the person who comes up and offers that to you? Wouldn’t you love the opportunity to repay them? You can be that person that others look to respectfully with gratitude in their hearts, who will, one day, repay the gesture. What comes around, goes around. If you want people to be helpful to you, you must be helpful to others. It doesn’t matter whether this is assisting your boss with a special project you can see he needs help with, or a co-worker who is struggling with a large workload, or an elderly neighbor struggling up the stairs with her arms full. People do remember kindness.
• Maintain Your Integrity and Your Dignity. People with their integrity intact are easier to deal with in work or personal situations. They know where they stand and you know where you stand with them. You will feel better about yourself when you set your standards and stand by them and you will attract those who respect your standards and who have standards of their own. Being a doormat is disrespectful to yourself and to the person ‘walking all over you’. It does not allow them to grow and learn to do something for themselves. Learn to say no gracefully. You have as much right as everyone else on the planet to have your own opinion and your own way of doing things, and reminding you of point (1) above, nobody has the right to make you feel ‘bad’ if you think, feel or dress differently. Remember, “to thine own self be true.”
• Go the Extra Mile. I mean this in a couple of ways. First, whether you are either asked to do something, or you are offering to do something, remember that if something is worth doing in the first place, then it is worth doing well. And while you are at it, what little touches can you offer to improve it? For example, who would you rather go to for your shoeshine… Mr. A does a wonderful buff and polish and is timely and not too expensive. Mr. B also does a wonderful buff and polish, he is also timely and not expensive, but he is also cheerful and interested in you and whistles while he works, so after your polish, you go on your way feeling on top of the world! Mr. B just went the extra mile for you. He didn’t just polish your shoes, he lifted your spirits and made you feel good. If you are offering a co-worker assistance with copying some documents, go the extra mile and ask if she needs a hand stapling them or collating them. Going the extra mile need not involve a large expense of time, energy or money, but it’s value to the recipient is often priceless, and one day, it will be reciprocated.
• Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say. Neither beat around the bush being evasive, nor make promises you can’t keep. On the other hand, if you say you are going to do something, do it. Be known as a reliable person. Honor your promises and agreements wherever possible – this stems back to integrity. Prepare to be flexible if need be, but know that you don’t have to bend over so far backwards that your back snaps. Being assertive and being aggressive are two entirely different things, and you do not need aggression to be assertive. In fact, you are better off without the aggression! If you are wishy-washy and allow people or circumstances to be unconcerned for your position, you will develop that reputation and find more and more people willing to walk all over you and more situations in which it occurs. Being like this does not prove you are valuable to anybody – it just means you are a ‘pushover’.

Managers often find themselves playing the role of middle-man because that is what they are… in the middle. Managers are the go-between for higher management and the workers. You can see how this can present a conflict of interests. How do you represent the views of the upper echelon and protect the interests of those who work under you at the same time? It can be done, of course, and is done every day. It’s part and parcel of being a manager and goes with the territory along with a large dose of stress.

The same thin line is being walked between customer and company loyalty. How can a manager look out for the best interests of customers and top management at the same time?

Then there is the fear factor involved in knowing when to act, when to speak up, or the desire to try something new. On the one hand, Managers are encouraged to speak up, and take risks – if the risks will lead to successful outcomes! But if the risk doesn’t have a successful outcome, heads will roll, and we don’t have to guess whose head will be rolling! Likewise, speaking up is all very well and good, but what if it damages the working relationship?

The problem with walking these fine lines is finding the perfect balance. Finding this balance is just one of the new skills Managers need to learn and master to be effective in their roles.

The key to finding this balance is in learning the art of communication in its truest sense. We can speak the harshest truths without ruffling feathers when we choose our words carefully. We know it is possible to soothe an unhappy customer without running our company down – this is a skill sales people use every day – and we can apply that skill to in-house communications too. Here are a few ways we can do this and walk the thin line without falling off:

• We can clear the way for open and honest communication by expressing our desire to communicate openly without intended offense and expressing our objective to find agreement or solutions that will keep everyone happy.
• When communicating about matters of conflict, it is important to be able to truly listen to the other point of view without giving up your own. Simple phrases such as “I understand…” and “I can see your point of view and why you’d think that…” can go a long way to diffusing heated arguments. People want their opinions respected and acknowledged, and when they have gotten what they need to say off their chest, and you have listened respectfully, you will find they are better able to listen to you when it is your turn.
• Choose your words carefully. Practice speeches and conversations in your head before you have them. The words will flow more easily if you have thought about it beforehand and you are less likely to become emotional or frustrated or offend someone.
• When representing either your workforce or your management, be careful just to state the facts without sounding like you are taking sides – or being judgmental! Be an impartial deliverer of information. Do not become emotionally involved in the “message” you are delivering. If it helps, think of yourself as a mediator.
• Always show respect, even if the other person does not – whether it is a member of your staff or your senior management. Retain your dignity. Yours is a special position to maintain – in a sense, you work for your own workforce as well as upper management, and you need to remain on good terms with both.

Managers may feel torn from time to time, but with effective communication skills under their belt they will be able to walk the thin line with confidence.

They don the title of Manager or Supervisor and suddenly they are expected to know all about Human Resource issues, communication, handling people, Unions, etc. One day they are ‘the best’ at whatever they do and on the strength of that, chosen for promotion. The next day they are the Manager, still the best at whatever it is they do, but no further ahead with the knowledge they need to succeed in their new position.

Do they complain and possibly risk losing their new hard-worked-for position or the respect of upper levels of management? Or do they struggle on doing the best they can? As individuals, they can seek further training in their own time to learn effective people handling skills, and many managers do this. However, if you take an honest look at an overall Organization, you’ll probably find many departmental heads in the same position – good at what they do, but lacking the skills needed for effective ‘management’. So when does the responsibility for further training become an Organizational issue and not an individual issue?

For those with their eyes on a promotion, it would be in their best interests to have this training now. Then, when they are the best at what they do AND they have the skills necessary to be effective Managers and Supervisors, they have a lot more to offer a Company. For those who have already been thrust into the position of Supervisor or Manager, it is the company’s responsibility to ensure they have all the tools and training necessary in order for them to perform their duties effectively.

One step Managers can take to make their job easier is to take a long hard look at their own areas of weakness. Be honest. Brainstorm with your department and ask for their honest opinions – make it clear that this is not a blame apportioning exercise and that opinions shall be treated with respect. Instead of feeling that one is on their own in the improvement stakes, make it a departmental responsibility. What can everyone do to ensure your department runs more smoothly and easily? Create a focus on what is already working and build from there.

For those things which definitely are not working, brainstorm as a team. Ask your workforce what they need from you in order to do their jobs more efficiently. Do they need more training? More autonomy? More supervision? Regular feedback? Weekly meetings with you?

Tell your workforce what you need from them. If you want them to just get on with the job and only bother you when there is a problem that only you can help with, let them know. If you’d rather they reported weekly to you on the progress of certain projects, tell them. Chances are none of you are mind-readers!

Your role as Manager will be greatly improved if you open the lines of communication. Do not apportion blame. Rather than seeing your role in terms of “managing,” think of it in terms of coaching or mentoring. Experience has shown that employees respond better to coaching/mentoring techniques than they do to the traditional management methods.

This means never being too busy for your staff, never being too self-important, and making time to be their Team Leader. Pay attention to what they say to you. Take the time to listen and learn from and with them. And expect your own ‘Manager’ or President/CEO to do the same. Have a meeting and be open. You cannot work in the dark. Say what you need in order to do your job properly.

1. Listen carefully. Don’t be thinking ahead of what you want to say – put that aside while the other person is talking and just concentrate on what they are saying to you.
2. Repeat back what you think they said to ensure you have understood. Use phrases like “I understand what you mean,” or “I see your point,” and when you don’t, ask them to clarify. Get to the bottom of it.
3. Be honest about your own shortcomings and admit to your mistakes. And if you are going to give feedback, be careful not to do it in a blaming sense. Keep emotion out of it and just stick to the facts. Do not resort to name-calling or putting anybody else down in order to justify your position.
4. Apologize where an apology is called for. Don’t try to make excuses for poor performance – focus instead on what can be done to improve/rectify the situation.
5. Ask for input/ideas on how to improve the situation.
6. If the timing is bad for your discussion, be honest and say that you need time to think over what has just been said and make a time for follow up.

As a Manager, you may sometimes feel you have to be all things to all people. It doesn’t have to be that way if you focus on a team spirit. You are all in it together and the responsibility for making anything “work” should be a team effort.